Autism and Abuse: Embracing Neurodiversity Helped Me Heal

For World Autism Awareness Week we are amplifying the voices of autistic survivors on our blog.

This post has been submitted by Skye.

Content notice: Abuse

I grew up being an undiagnosed ADHD autistic. Many people use this fact to conclude that I must be “not severely autistic”, which to me is a really strange conclusion. As a child, I was often overwhelmed and helpless. I forgot most basic things, I was disorganized, I was lost in social situations, and sensory overload as well as all kinds of emotional distress put me into meltdowns quickly. I was unable to handle my meltdowns in any way.

However, my parent did not see this as a reason to help me, or to reach out for external help or a diagnosis. (Considering how abusive the psychiatric system is, I don’t think this would have improved my life much, but still.) Instead, they used it as a welcome excuse to abuse me.

Throughout my life, many people insisted that I was “normal”, or “extremely smart” or “talented”, refusing to see how disabled I was. At the same time, the exact same people used my disabilities either as an excuse to abuse me, or as a way to manipulate and exploit me in various ways.

They would put me into meltdowns on purpose, but if I had a meltdown, this was interpreted as a malicious act.

They would give me tasks that I could not carry out and then punish me for failing.

They would shame me for being disorganized and demand me to change, which is not in the realm of possibilities.

I was always easy to lie to, easy to convince and easy to manipulate. I’m a gullible person. I’ve had an abusive relationships in which my partner used those traits to make me stay with him for years.

But, I’ve always been a pigheaded fighter too. It took me a while to learn enough about the world before I could escape the abuse, but eventually I did.

Since then, I have recognized that I am neurodivergent and have learned to embrace my neurotype. For me, this was the most important step towards healing and living a really fulfilling life.

If you have been affected by this post, or would like help to find accessible services in your area, please visit our support page by clicking here.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *